The good, the bad, and the ugly

We've made it through the cold. It was an easy one for me & the older kids, kids didn't miss school, I didn't even notice I was sick. However, miss Georgia had quite the different experience. She stopped tolerating feeds and just felt yucky. No pneumonia and her doc fought to get her the rsv vaccine & got it so yah!!!  The stinky thing is she dropped A LOT of weight. She's back down to 10lbs 6oz, dang!!!!   There are new borns who weigh that and shes 5 months old!  We'd just got her up!  But she's back up to full feeds and taking 4 oz every three hours, which is so great because there was a time I thought she'd never take more than 3 oz!  She's still on just breast milk because she had such a bad reaction to formula, so for the foreseeable future it will be strictly breast milk. I'm pumping so much it hurts and that's all I will say about that,,,

The good/cute thing she does is,,, I had tried so much to make her love tummy time. She has very low muscle tone in her arms/upper body. On her tummy she just lays there like a newborn & screams. So I put her on tummy and helped her roll over. When she got to her back I'd cheer & clap like crazy. She loved it, she goes crazy kicking and smiling. So cute and it had the right effect. She loves tummy time and rolls over. If you don't cheer for her she yells at you. So funny and she's getting stronger.

I was not going to post this, it's a little ugly, but it's true and this page is my therapy. I took Cash, my two year old  to dentist this morning.  Blake's out of town for a family emergency and I thought I'm a big girl I can take my kid to dentist. Then he freaks out and won't sit or anything. The hygienist says no problem, we'll get an assistant to help (I told her Georgia had severe reflux that morning and I had to hold her upright). Then the dentist comes back you can tell he's not going for it. He says we like mom to hold so we're not creating a bad experience, cant you get a car seat?!?  I drug Cash out to get cars seat then I drag him back in as hes screaming.  I'm kinda mad at this point. When we got back in I told dentist I was so uncomfortable with the arrangement.  He says he won't proceed then. I say why can't someone help with my two year old, he says, we already gave you that option. I said yes and I agreed to that. He says again, well I just don't feel comfortable proceeding today. I keep suggesting options on how they can proceed and help him. The dentist just says over and over, I'm not comfortable proceeding. Finally, after a few minutes of this I realize he's kicking me out. So I get up and say ok so we need to go?  He claps his hands and says alright, like it was my idea. I just let them lead us out. At the counter they say, we couldn't do the exam on him (like they even tried).  I walk to the car, I realize they didn't even offer to reschedule. So I go back in and say what can we do to make this work and get him seen?  He again relayed to me, through the receptionist, he didn't want to proceed and they don't give me the option to reschedule.  So I leave again and I get in the car and just start crying. For those of you that know me I literally never cry. I must have been due for a cry because I literally cried for the longest time. I cant really express why it hurt me so bad. I think its because i was just starting to take my life back and feel empowered and feel like i could do life even with a special needs baby and three other little kids and he took that from me and made me feel small and helpless again. I remember Sawyer was afraid of the dentist and they'd give him a stuffed animal and talk with him and offer cool toys. They literally tried nothing. Georgia's nurse who comes to do weight checks says it was probably because I had told them she was special needs. If she would've choked they would've been liable. I just wish he would've kicked me out before I wasted over thirty minutes there and drug Cash all over the place. Poor Cash probably thinks dentist are horrible people that make mommies cry for an hour ;). The good thing is I called my insurance company and they found  us a dentist close who accepts special needs patients. I'm hoping they'll be more accommodating.

So there it is, the good the bad the ugly. My life is full of all those things, but it is good and thank goodness I know there's something much better waiting for me and sweet Georgia!  Heavenly Father has a plan for us & I'm trying to learn all I need to learn & be a good example here on earth!